Feature: Mental Health Awareness Month - Crash Into Me by Albert Borris
This month, for Mental Health Awareness Month I'm featuring books that I think realistically represent mental health issues. This week I'm showcasing CRASH INTO ME by Albert Borris which is a backlist book that came out June 24, 2009 and covers depression, suicide attempts, feelings of inadequacy, survivor's grief, and sexual orientation issues. I'm also talking a bit about depression throughout my teenage years.
Come back every Sunday in May for some self-care tips, a book recommendation, and stories of personal experiences.
Crash Into Me by Albert Borris
by Albert Borris
Published by Simon Pulse on June 24, 2009
Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary
Pages: 257
Amazon | Goodreads
Owen, Frank, Audrey, and Jin-Ae have one thing in common: they all want to die. When they meet online after each attempts suicide and fails, the four teens make a deadly pact: they will escape together on a summer road trip to visit the sites of celebrity suicides...and at their final destination, they will all end their lives. As they drive cross-country, bonding over their dark impulses, sharing their deepest secrets and desires, living it up, hooking up, and becoming true friends, each must decide whether life is worth living--or if there's no turning back. Crash Into Me puts readers in the driver's seat with four teens teetering on the edge of suicide. But will their cross country odyssey push them all the way over? Only the final page turn will tell, in Albert Borris's finely-crafted tale of friendship forged from a desperate need of connection.
Being A Teenager With Undiagnosed Depression
My Personal Mental Health Story of the Week
When I was in my early teen years I had no idea what was “wrong” with me. Why the idea of going to school each morning filled me with such dread and fear that I’d burst into tears, why getting in a car and going beyond the city limits suddenly made my stomach upset, why I felt the need to spend entire days in bed with the curtains drawn tightly shut.
It was embarrassing, this way that I felt. It made me think that it was the reason nobody wanted to be my friend because of the way that I acted. The worst part is, the things I could hide - the sleeping all day and crying into my pillow - I hid from everyone.
If you asked my grandmother she would readily tell you this was all my mom’s fault, that her rejection made me have low self-esteem. It took me a long time to realize the signs for what they truly are. I have anxiety and severe depression.
I have what I like to call triggers with the anxiety. Things that send me spiraling into a panic attack that if severe enough takes me hours to calm down from. The depression... that’s still a mystery. I can’t quite pinpoint when I went from the bright, chatterbox kid to someone that struggles to even smile or feel happy for a few minutes.
Through the help of a counselor and medication to stabilize the bad days I can say I don’t feel as bad as I used to, but life is not picture perfect. I still struggle. There are days when the depression has me so exhausted I can barely function. Days when even though I have ideas, I have no desire to work on my next novel and that lack of desire has made me push back my deadline for the past six months. Other days, a simple forgetful moment can send my heart seizing in a fit of anxiety. It’s truly a day to day thing.
I’ve always been transparent online about my mental health yet I struggle to open up some of my closest family about it. It’s taken me nearly a decade to not feel ashamed for what I cannot control, but that fear of rejection from the people that are supposed to love you most still makes me cautious.
I am who I am. Depression and all. I’m not ashamed. I’m not a freak. I can stand on the bridge knowing that I will not take a step over the edge. I’m stronger now, I will not let depression rule my life.
As the tattoo on my forearm reads, “Don’t let the hard times get you down.”
Self-Care Tip of the Week
You don't have to write anything fancy. You don't have to write in it every day. You don't have to be a poet or write long, romantic prose. Most of the time I start by writing down any dreams I can remember from the night before, good or bad. That's probably the writer in me stowing away ideas for later.
I mainly journal about my day to day life; what I ate that day, who I talked to, anything strange I observed, if I got into an argument with anyone and over what, if something hurt my feelings, what I watched on tv, etc.
You can start out small, grab a notebook and a pencil and just write. Follow my example and write about your day or write about how you might be feeling at the time, if anything is worrying you, don't think too hard just let your mind fly and tell you what to say. You don't have to show this journal to anyone if you don't want to. You won't be judged for the things you write inside, you're not being graded or critiqued for writing style or grammar so just relax, take a deep breath, and write.
According to the University of Rochester Medical Center journaling can help you:
- Manage anxiety
- Reduce stress
- Cope with depression
- Helping you prioritize problems, fears, and concerns
- Tracking any symptoms day-to-day so that you can recognize triggers and learn ways to better control them
- Providing an opportunity for positive self-talk and identifying negative thoughts and behaviors
If you or someone you love are struggling with depression or another mental health condition and have thoughts of suicide, please reach out to someone!
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
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